There’s Always Next Year

No one ever said being a Bengals fan was easy (unless, of course, you’re a Raiders fan). In 2005, when Marvin Lewis lead the team to the playoffs for the first time in 15 years, they went on to lose not only their first-round game to the Steelers, but quarterback Carson Palmer, who tore three knee ligaments on the team’s first series.  Things didn’t get any easier over the next year either, as nine different Bengals players were arrested a grand total of 13 times for everything from providing alcohol to underage females to burglary and grand theft.  This year, after the upstart Jets handed the team yet another first-round playoff loss, the Bengals are back to their old tricks.

While legal troubles are certainly nothing new for NFL players, the Bengals set the bar high when it comes to ensuring that PR Director, Jack Brennan, and his staff have to work weekends. (And it’s not just because Ochocinco knows how to tweet). Last week, the team signed former Jacksonville Jaguar receiver Matt Jones, well-rested after a year off from football for cocaine possession, and worked out Pacman Jones, a man whose rap-sheet could paper your walls.  So as the Bengals transition from Hard Knocks last season to another apparent remake of The Longest Yard, I got to wondering: who are the 10 figures from professional football’s long history that would fit best with the Bengals’ team concept?

#10 Ryan Leaf (QB San Diego Chargers)

After being drafted second-overall in the 1998 draft behind only Peyton Manning, Ryan Leaf cemented himself as one of the “Biggest Busts in NFL History.” Not wanting to stop there, Leaf made headlines in 2009 when, shortly after resigning from an assistant coach position at West Texas A&M, Leaf was arrested trying to return from Canada to the United States and was charged with burglary and obtaining a controlled substance (hyrodocodone) by fraud.   Leaf, who if convicted of the burglary charge alone could serve upwards of 20 years in prison, is currently attempting to arrange a plea deal with authorities in Texas that would allow him to live and work in British Columbia.  He has thus far been unsuccessful.

#9 Nate Newton (G Dallas Cowboys)

As a fan of the 1990′s Dallas Cowboys, it pains me to include Big Nate on this list, but his story is too absurd not to mention.  In 2001, Newton was arrested in Louisiana for driving a van carrying 213 pounds of marijuana.  While out on bail for that incident, Newton was arrested again under almost identical circumstances.  This time he was carrying 175 pounds of marijuana, and was apprehended in Texas.  Newton eventually pled guilty to the charges and agreed to serve 2.5 years in federal prison and to perform 250 hours of community service.  By pleading guilty, Newton managed to avoid the maximum penalty for his crime: 20 years in prison and a $1 million fine.

#8 Rae Carruth (WR Carolina Panthers)

Carruth, who will be a free agent sometime between 2018 and 2024 when he is released from prison, was found guilty on a number of charges relating to the drive-by-shooting death of his pregnant girlfriend, Cherica Adams, in 1999.  Carruth stopped his car in front of Adams who was following behind him, and another car drove up beside her and opened fire.  She was taken to a local hospital, and doctors were miraculously able to save the child.  Unfortunately, they would not be so lucky with Adams, who passed away about a month later.  After becoming a fugitive following the incident, Carruth was eventually found hiding in the trunk of a car outside a Nashville motel with $3900 cash, extra clothes, candy-bars, a cell phone, and bottles to hold his urine.

#7 Mike Tice (Head Coach Minnesota Vikings)

In 2005, after leading the Vikings to a 9-7 record, Tice admitted to organizing and profiting from a Super Bowl ticket scalping operation within the organization that had been ongoing for as much a decade.  Each year, Tice would collect the tickets that players and team personnel were entitled to purchase at face value and arrange to sell those tickets on the black market for three and four times that amount.  The NFL eventually fined Tice $100,000 for his involvement in the operation, which at the time marked the largest fine ever given to a coach.  Two years later however, Patriot’s coach Bill Belichick, a man who refuses to lose at anything, netted a $500,000 fine for videotaping his opponents plays during Spygate.

#6 Ray Lewis (LB Baltimore Ravens)

In 2000, Lewis and two other men were charged with murder and aggravated assault for the stabbing deaths of two men outside a Super Bowl party in the host city of Atlanta.   The Ravens middle-linebacker managed to have the charges against him dropped down to obstruction of justice as part of a plea agreement that required him to testify against the other two suspects.   Lewis received only one year of probation and an NFL imposed $250,000 fine for his part in the crime.  The plea deal also salvaged a Hall of Fame career for Lewis, as he was named Super Bowl MVP the very next season and hasn’t slowed down since.

#5 Lawrence Taylor (LB New York Giants)

The original LT, Lawrence Taylor, was suspended for 30 days at the start of the 1987 season after testing positive for cocaine a second time. Knowing that a third positive test would see him banned from the game for life, Taylor managed to play another five years drug free.  (Or at least never get caught submitting teammates’ urine samples). Soon after retiring however, Taylor picked up a crack cocaine habit that cost him thousands of dollars per day.   This habit eventually led to his arrest on two separate occasions for attempting to purchase crack from an undercover police officer.

#4 Plaxico Burress (WR New York Giants)

Plaxico Burress’ crimes do not even compare with many of the acts listed here as far as brutality or threat to society, but when the player who scored the Super Bowl’s game-winning touchdown does his best Cheddar Bob impression, that is a noteworthy event.   In November 2008, Burress, while attempting to stop the Glock pistol hiding in his waistband from falling down his pants, accidentally pulled the trigger and shot himself in the right thigh.  Unfortunately for Burress, he made his mistake in the wrong place, as New York City gun laws are notoriously strict.  Facing charges of criminal possession of a weapon and reckless endangerment, Burress eventually agreed to a plea deal that included two years of jail time followed by two years of supervised release.  When he is finally released, I have a pretty good idea which team will be first in line to sign the troubled receiver.

#3 Hollywood Henderson (LB Dallas Cowboys)

Thomas Henderson earned the nickname “Hollywood” through a flamboyant lifestyle that included fast cars, fast women, and plenty of drugs and alcohol.  His drug habit was so notorious that Henderson actually used cocaine on the sidelines of many games, including Super Bowl XIII during the 1978 season.  Then in 1983, he was arrested for smoking crack with teenage girls who accused him of sexual assault, a charge that he denied.

Hollywood or not, there is no doubt that Henderson lived a charmed life.  In 2000, he would go on to win the Texas lottery jackpot worth $28 million.  Although he donated a substantial portion of the money to help the east Austin community where he grew up, when asked what he does everyday since winning, Henderson responded simply, “Not a damn thing.  And I don’t start that until after lunch.”

#2 Michael Vick (QB Atlanta Falcons)

Michael Vick is not a dog lover.  However, his legal troubles go far beyond Bad Newz Kennels.  First, in 2004, two men were arrested in Virginia for selling marijuana out of a car registered to Vick.  Then, in 2006, Vick settled a civil suit in which a woman alleged that Vick gave her genital herpes in 2002 and did not notify her that he had the disease.  She recalled as proof of Vick’s knowledge, trips he’d made to the doctor using the assumed name, “Ron Mexico.”  Finally in 2007, Vick surrendered a water bottle at Miami International Airport that contained a secret compartment.  Vick was cleared of any wrongdoing in that situation, however the story made national news.  These incidents of course pale in comparison to the dog-fighting charges that netted the quarterback 23 months in federal prison, however each one adds to the legend that is Michael Vick.

#1 OJ Simpson (RB Buffalo Bills)

The Juice makes this list for all the reasons you’re thinking of and more.  The former Heisman Trophy winner, who was also the first back ever to rush for 2000 yards in a season, starred in the most talked about soap opera of the 1990’s: the murder trial of his wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and Ronald Goldman.  In 2008, exactly 13 years after he was acquitted of both murders, Simpson accomplished what Christopher Darden and Marsha Clark never could: put OJ Simpson behind bars.  He was convicted on 12 charges stemming from an incident in 2007 where he and a group of men broke into a Las Vegas hotel room and stole numerous items of sports memorabilia featuring the running back.  Simpson will serve at least nine years of a 33-year prison sentence for his role in the crime.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 21st, 2010 at 10:22 pm and is filed under Football, Professional Football. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.